The Most Excellent Way
The Most Excellent Way
Living in this world sure is getting complicated. Jesus told us that a house divided cannot stand. Of course, he is speaking of relationships. In that teaching, Jesus mentions the devil, who, as we all know, is not happy about the Church, the Kingdom of God, spiritual gifts, and the unified body of Christ. It makes complete strategic sense that attacking unity would be an old-school strategy for the enemy. We most certainly see it in operation in the world right now. The devil is hard at work dividing us up according to every imaginable place of offense.
We cannot expect lost people to act like Christians, but we can expect Christians to act like Christians. So, as Paul would say, let me show you the most excellent way. I want to talk about offense. I have never known anyone who hasn’t been tripped up by personal offense even in the smallest way. When we become offended, we become ensnared by the enemy, and we quickly become blinded to the truth. It’s a hard one. When offense lodges into our emotions, it takes control of our choices and mindset. We might even call it obsessive.
So, how can we avoid this derailing pathway? Let’s begin with Bible, Paul’s most excellent way: 1 Cor. 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
This description of love helps to set the pathway to learning to steer clear of personal offense.
It is to our glory to overlook an offense. This means that we have an opportunity to really shine. Really show God, our friends, strangers, acquaintances, annoying people, etc., that we are bigger than that offense. We understand Biblical love. This pretty much covers most of the easily dismissed petty offenses that we are accustomed to. The more mature we are in Christ, the more expansive this outlook is. If you fully embrace 1 Corinthians 13, this is usually where we end up.
Let him cast the first stone. Jesus was confronted with an accusation of a woman caught in adultery. This is a tough topic to address, but it might be classified as the acutest situation that one might encounter to cause offense and judgment if you think of it. Notice what Jesus said, “Let him who has no sin cast the first stone.” Then, they all left, one by one. Amazing! Jesus always had a way to cut to the quick, didn’t he? The question that reverberates even now is, what about your own heart? What about your own actions? Are you guiltless of sin? Today, morality seems to be viewed on an extensive sliding scale. We call this hypocrisy.
See, the truth is that if we choose to “stone” someone verbally, stone with silence, stone with shunning, stone with accusation, we are convicting ourselves.
Matthew 5:13 – While we are worshipping, we realize that someone is offended with us, we are first to make it right and then offer our gift at the altar. Two things I want to say about this verse: 1. We must first know that someone is offended by us. It often is pride that keeps us from sharing our offense, especially if we know it is petty, i.e., jealousy, vengeance, pride, or something even deeper. 2. The obligation is finished when we make a humble, cross-embracing attempt to address someone’s offense. If someone refuses to speak to us, then well, what else can you do, but continue with 1 Cor. 13 love and faith for that person’s life. They are God’s children and servants. He can help them stand, and perhaps it will be to their glory to overlook it one day. We are not called or capable of doling out the discipline of another human being by withholding love.
Matthew 18
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
This is perhaps the hardest teaching in the Bible. Essentially, God is saying that we must forgive anyone, anytime, for any reason. Period! Let that sink in.
This is the principle: If we refuse to forgive, we pridefully proclaim that we are without sin. That is not a spiritually healthy or safe place to be. God resists the proud. Read Matthew 18 – God will turn us over to our own measure of judgment which quickly teaches us that we are utterly sinful and in need of a Savior and restoration of the soul.
But what they did was wrong!
a. Did they wrong you? If not, then is it your business? Be careful not to cheer on the wrong person. Christians often support the wrong person in these battles. Boy, I have seen this so many times. In the end, maybe what they did was absolutely right, but you couldn’t see it at the time.
b. Wrong by whose measure? Is what they did their responsibility? Maybe you would have done it differently? I have never been a carpenter. I need to be careful not to tell a carpenter how to build a house. Maybe what I really need to do is, with all humility, ask the builder, “Why did you do what you did?” It is amazing what you learn when you ask questions with the right heart, void of accusation.
c. If you abandon love for someone right off the bat, then you will never end up at a resolution apart from just a broken relationship. This is sad and breaks God’s heart.
d. We are all learning and growing. When we assume that someone is beyond our capability to love, we are not growing in Christ-likeness.
e. BUT, what they did was WRONG!!! How many times must we forgive them? If all else fails and the offender does not want to speak to you or afford a humble conversation with out-personal attacks, you must move on.
Last bit of wisdom:
If we are not trying to win our brother, we are only interested in being right, not restored.