Childlike Faith! Or Fears?
David M. Schmaltz
When I was a kid, I remember distinctive moments of fear. It all started with school. Going to school was a big step for me. I didn't do well in the transition at all. I sucked my thumb, I ate glue, and I ran away, given the first chance. Let me explain. At the beginning of my first-grade year, my parents would drop me off in front of the school. It was called Michigan Avenue Elementary. The fact that it was a creepy old relic of the late 1800s didn't help. Well, I would walk from one entrance in the front of the school to the other entrance in the back, out the door, and head home about eight blocks away. My parents endured this for a few days and then realized that school wasn't working for me. So, they held me back from school that year. Lots of Captain Kangaroo for me!
The city opened a new school the following year, and things went a little better. But I was still dealing with significant fears. We moved to a new city for my second-grade year, and it happened again. I was frightened by a teacher who had a husband in Vietnam. She was very emotional and would often yell at the children. I had none of it and hit the road at lunchtime recess. Reluctantly, I went back. I started settling in more and matured emotionally with my parent's patient encouragement. I started doing very well. And then…another move.
That next year was a bit tough, but I was starting to get the hang of it. Then, pneumonia. My mom tells me I almost died. I have a few frightful memories of that feverish night with the doctors and nurses rushing in and out.
Then, another move, which included some bullying. Oh, the joys of being the endless new kid.
God gave me a gift around the age of twelve. I grew big, strong, and fast. These gifts helped me overcome the threats and intimidations I received when I moved to the South. Yeah, we moved again from the North to the South. It was hard, but I figured out how to cope as a southern boy. One was, of course, using my size advantage to intimidate others before they could attack me. The other was finding friends. And the other was sports. Thank God for sports. My nickname was Moose. Of course, those guys thought I was big and dumb. I only feigned that because it kept me out of their focus. I was somewhat smart getting straight A's but keeping it quiet. I let my grades go briefly as I didn't see any value in them. Anyone living through the late '70s knows precisely the life I was surrounded by.
When I look at those fearful times in my life, I know they influenced me greatly. I have deep-seated memories of those moments, but I have learned that fear always comes from something. Adults never stop fearing, we just glaze it over with "concern," "wisdom," and awkward attention to coping mechanisms. We learn that the response to fear is safety, and safety is found in many places. It is found in routine. It is found in being loved. It is found in accomplishing things, controlling the environment, and controlling people. But, all of this comes from fear.
I can't say that I have wholly conquered fear. But, through the grace of God, I have tremendous freedom. I have learned to be courageous. Let me tell you how. I learned to stare my fears down, understand my brokenness and then hand in hand with Jesus, go forward in strength and courage. Some of the things I have done astound me. Why? Because I would never have imagined that a fearful boy would one day travel the world to violent villages and cities and move far away from home and serve with strangers, or start a whole new career at the age of 41. I would never have thought I would homeschool five children with a beautiful and genius wife in a society where people believe homeschooled children will be deprived and socially awkward. I give God all glory as the opposite turns out to be true.
I have spoken much about fear over the past three years, and for excellent reason. I hurt seeing people justify their decisions on what I know is based on fear rather than faith. Hey, you! You can't fool me! I know a scaredy-cat when I see one because I am one. I'm not judging you, I am lovingly calling you out! But, search your heart. Are you living in faith? Is your lifestyle something inspiring to others? I can honestly tell you that if fear is there, it isn't. I know my Jesus who was a man completely devoid of fear. Why? Because he knew his times were in God's hands. And so are yours. Fear is continuously tracked back to a root cause, i.e., fear of failure, fear of death, fear of exposure, fear of consequence, fear of suffering or change.
If we don't conquer fear, we allow it to rule us, and our life gets awkward. No, you may think your excuses are keeping people fooled. But they are not. You will drift into shadow and life becomes a mundane series of days without real joy. Life goes by fast my friend. You don't have to be a Ferris Bueller to enjoy life, but you do have to conquer the fears that keep you a fruitless, one-buried-talent, Christian.
Please don't wait till it is too late. Come on! Let's throw off those chains. Let's Cry out to God for courage-building grace! Wake up, oh sleeper, and let Christ shine on you! Get up from your mat of emotional invalidity. Walk with me. Let's run like there is no tomorrow. Christ is waiting for you on the other side of the slough of despair. Go for it!
It takes courage to step out of line from the pied piper's fearful tune. Please don't listen to it anymore. Bon Jovi sang, "Life is a Highway," and he was right. Jesus said that the highway most traveled would be like a mass of deceived zombies. [My interpretation]
Turn off that mind-numbing, fear-generating, brainwashing TV. You should read only what is inspiring you to follow Christ more courageously.
Honestly, it takes more strength and courage to follow Christ into your promised land than to stay safe. By the way, safety is not guaranteed. Jesus said that we would have trouble in this world, but not to worry, He has overcome it. Did you hear that? He overcame this dark, scary, uncertain world. We need Jesus for this courageous journey. Ask yourself this question? Do you enjoy living a limited life? Is it better to live on purpose than to be safe all the time? The devil is counting on you to remain safe! There you will do nothing; be no threat to him. Living on purpose will put you out there, out of the comfort zone. No need to be a martyr. There is no need to needlessly die. No, John Huss gave his life fighting for salvation gained by faith alone; he was burned at the stake for that Biblical discovery. I am not glad he died, but I am glad that he gave his life for me to eventually be able to read the Bible for myself and understand that powerful truth, and many, many more.
To finish this long blog post, I wanted to offer as a gift to the first 25 people a print from one of my paintings as an encouragement for sticking with me. Shhhh. Don't' tell anyone else. Let them discover it on their own. I'm calling it Faithful Warrior. If you want one, text me at 252-532-1891 and say, "I am a faithful warrior!"
Blessings,
Pastor David
